


Red and Blue Gang Up on Small Humans

by vvorlock



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Awful awful mutual pining, KlanceWeek2016, M/M, absolute shenanigans, and foul language, when you're such a pain in the ass a giant magic robot lion has to set you straight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-25 08:15:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7525147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vvorlock/pseuds/vvorlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hunk, my man, that's all semantics. I bet your lion would love to let me pilot her for a day!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red and Blue Gang Up on Small Humans

**Author's Note:**

> Klance week! Day 1! Prompt was Red/Blue, chose to do both. 
> 
> http://klanceweek.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thanks to tumblr users Kojojam, Castleships, and Apex-Disaster for proofreading this nonsense.

“That’s a terrible idea, Lance, if it could even work.” Pidge sighed, heavily, for the fifth time in the last three minutes.

“No but really! Is it worth a shot? Who knows how-“

“That’s not how it works.” Keith had to cut him off. Out of all of the idiotic suggestions and plans Lance had ever offered up over dinner, attempting to pilot each other’s lions was quite possibly the most absurd one yet. And that’s taking into account the theory that there is actually two Corans on the Castle, and only one is ever present.

“Fine, whatever, you’re all too boring to try anyway, I get it. Hunk and I will just have to do it without you guys.” Lance gestured pointedly at his friends with a noodle wrapped spork. He shrugged before digging back into the meal Hunk had prepared yet again, much to Coran’s continued dismay.

“I mean, as long as we stay right by the Castle right?” Hunk nervously offered from across the table, “We wouldn’t want to get out of sight and then get stuck, or attacked, or eaten, or-“

“Hunk.”

“Yeah?”

“What the heck could even eat us? Do you remember how big our lions are? We’re the legs.” Lance hunched over the table, eyebrow raised. “You’re worrying too much, it’ll be fine!”

“Yeah, yeah I guess you’re right.” The yellow paladin laughed nervously once again. Pidge and Keith both exchanged a glance. A disapproving glance. Pidge nodded. The customary ‘Yeah I’ll tell Shiro before they completely fuck up everything and get killed while trying to do something stupid’ nod. Lance and Hunk began to argue about the possible sizes of aliens and wether or not size dictated the strength of stomach digestive acids, Pidge excused them self and left to find Shiro, an extra bowl of space ‘pasta’ in hand. Keith continued to ignore the conversation, his hand absent-mindedly spinning his spork in the gold and purple noodles and sauce in his bowl.

“What do you think, Keith?” The sudden mention of his named caught Keith off guard, and he felt a touch heated when reality came back and he had been staring at Lance for who knows how long now.

“About what?”

“Um, about whether or not your lion secretly thinks I’m cooler than you.” Lance sniped, a shit-eating grin plaster across his face.

“Wouldn’t happen. Red thinks you’re an idiot.”

“Psh, I doubt that. Red picked you after all, why wouldn’t it like me more? Pretty sure everyone likes me more.” That stupid grin hadn’t left Lance’s face as he leaned on the banquet table, fork pointed at the red paladin. Hunk frowned, however.

“Lance, that’s kind of mean? For you, I mean. That’s- yeah that’s mean,” Keith quietly thanked Hunk on the inside. The remarks had definitely struck a chord somewhere in him, and he was always thankful for Hunk stepping in to curb Lance’s impulsive comments. “Besides, Keith is a great guy too. He helped me work on some close combat techniques the other day. You know, the think I’ve been asking you for weeks to practice with me.” Hunk finished with a slight frown.

“Hunk we both have guns. I can’t melee you with a gun without using it like some kind of blunt weapon.” Lance slumped back in his seat a little.

“Red just isn’t your colour anyway.” Keith added, staring directly at Lance.

“What? Any colour is my colour. I look great in everything.”

“Then why do you wear the same bland colour scheme everyday? The same jeans? The same god awful jacket?”

“This is all I have here! And it's not god awful, it's cool!”

“Excuses,” the red paladin finished with a wide grin. “Blue would probably let me pilot her though, she seems far more reasonable than you any given day.”

“I’m sorry, excuuuuuse me?” Lance huffed out a strained, frustrated laugh. “Yeah right, man, no way.”

“Why don’t we put it to the test then?” Keith stood, dropping his fork to the table.

“Yeah! Why don’t we!” Lance shouted back, standing quickly, in some sort of attempt to seem more aggressive about it than Keith had been. Next thing Hunk knew, they were out the door and sprinting to the hangers.

 

 

 

 

Lance hoped and hoped that Blue wouldn’t react to Keith sitting in the cockpit, but then she powered up nice and easy.

“Come on dude! Total betrayal!” He thought out to Blue. A small chime sounded in response. “Wha- Did you just laugh at me!?” Keith grinned wide as he gripped the controls.

“I told you, Lance. Blue is more reasonable than you.” Keith hummed as he quietly noted the small indents on the grips where Lance’s hands rested. They were bigger than his hands, and the grips felt cold to the touch. The lion calmly stood and launched out of the Castle. Lance took a touch of pride in the fact that it was definitely rougher than when he would take off. Keith’s evil, evil grin didn’t leave for the entire five minute flight around the outside of the Castle.

“It’s not hard at all, Lance. She’s just a bit bulkier than Red. All right, a touch slower too, but that’s because she’s built with more armor, isn’t that right?” He glanced back at his so-called rival before petting the arm of the chair.

“Fine! Fine! Well, fair’s fair. Land. My turn to try flying your tiny lion.” There was a hint of venom in the blue paladin’s tone. Keith had managed to strike a chord in return for earlier. Satisfied with that, Keith carefully flew back in and landed. Each time Blue caught the side of the port, Lance let out a small victorious “HA!”

 

 

 

Red, on the other hand, was a completely different matter. The paladins approached and she didn’t even budge. Not even for Keith. Which was concerning to him, but he kept the unease quiet.

“See? She doesn’t like you.”

“Um, bud I think she’s mad at you for cheating on her,” the blue paladin sighed, leaning against one of the giant claws on Red, “Now we’ll never truly know if she likes me more.”

“If she liked you more, then she would open up to let you in. And she’s not. So clearly, she doesn’t even want to risk you getting inside her personal space.” Keith was getting snippier by the second that his lion wasn’t reacting to him.

It took a swift kick to the side of the lion’s paw before it finally lowered down and opened its mouth to let them in. Keith went in first, huffing the entire way and muttering under his breath. Lance noted how hot it was inside, sort of like a car that was in the sun with the windows down. Keith then begrudgingly stepped aside for lance to hop into the pilot’s seat, which he did. With gusto.

Red didn’t respond.

“See? She doesn’t like you. Point proved, let’s go.”

“What? Naw, she just needs to get warmed up to me.”

“Lance, she is always warm.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Lance shot a look over his shoulder at the red paladin as he gripped the controls of the lion. He felt nothing, and the machine continued to be unresponsive. Keith closed his eyes and felt after Red’s consciousness and asked, no wished, for her to teach him some sort of lesson. To, for all intents and purposes, fuck with him. Lance continued to babble about ‘warming up’ a girl before her engines start but he was cut short when Red powered up suddenly and took off.

Keith held onto the back of the chair for dear life while Lance screamed. The lion rocketed out of the Castle and into the sky. Lance’s scream changed to excited hollering as he made his rival’s lion do a few barrel rolls. Keith already regretted asking Red to mess with Lance, as he could tell she was only letting him think he was controlling her. After a few dives, flips, rolls, curses, and shouts, Lance leveled out the lion, or, at least he thought he did.

“All right! I get it Lance take us back.” Keith snapped, quietly grinning behind his back, knowing that he wasn’t the one in control.

“Fine, fine.” Lance rolled his eyes and tried to turn the lion around. Nothing happened.

“Uh,”

“Are you kidding me? Just take us back Lance. I thought you could fly?”

“I- hey!” Lance let go of the controls and punched a laughing Keith in the side. “You knew!”

“Of course I did!” Keith kicked the blue paladin out of his chair and sat down, ready to take back control. Only to have Red refuse to respond when he tried to turn back towards the Castle.

“What-“

“Ha! You can’t fly her either!”

“Lance that means we’re stuck in her, you fucking idiot!”

“Oh.”

The red paladin could just feel the smirk in his mind as his lion shot off over the forest the Castle had landed beside. Red came to a stop and a quiet sense of dread hit the two paladins before they were quickly ejected out into the forest. Screaming, Lance landed on his back with Keith slamming into his chest. They laughed at first, sure.

They even paused a moment as their faces brushed past and they caught each other’s eyes. A mutual blush followed by coughing and the two quickly standing up. Only realize the lion had left them a good two miles out from the Castle and in the forest.

**Author's Note:**

> time for a walk of shame, idiots


End file.
